I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
