You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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