yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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