I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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