i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
