i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
