he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
