I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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