Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
