just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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