Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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