butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
