Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
