he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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