Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
