the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
