it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
