Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
