Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
