but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
