i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
