And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
my poor anus
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm both gender and math confused
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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