oh god the rape fog is back!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
