Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
