Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
