Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
