I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
