I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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