Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
no you cant smoke seaweed
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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