You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
