how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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