Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
