Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
