I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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