wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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