If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
