fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
ttyl tear gas
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
