mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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