you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I could fuck to npr.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
