Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
