i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I need water and some morals
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
