Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
