This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
