You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
