My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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