I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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