she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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