you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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