is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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