Your face is a jimmy john
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Of course I have a pirate flag
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
