If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
