Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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