covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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